Every breath

Friday, January 01, 2010 – 309 days to M day. I’ve been thinking about it and I think I’m too slow to be call myself a runner, I think I’m still in the jogging stage. So what do you do when you get that stitch on your side? It just ruined my jog on the treadmill. I tried to walk it off and it just wouldn’t go away. I was only on the treadmill for 60 minutes and did about 4.2 miles. Bad day, I just didn’t want to have a bad day on the first day of the year. 2010…..in 1990 my Mom died…20 years ago on April 3 at 9am, she died.
She didn’t die peacefully; each breath a battle fought. She was so sick I sometimes wonder how she survived as long as she did. The willpower on that woman was something I have never seen before or since. I have so much to say about my mother and her very difficult life, our life, my life. Maybe this is the forum. In the last 20 years I have looked up to the sky and asked for her help more times than I care to admit. If there was any time that I need her, really needed to hang on to her, it is now. I’m counting on her willpower, to guide me, to strengthen me, to make me cross a finish line, to make me live.